You are Not Unique

You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky

Often times when we are experiencing a period of challenge, pain, isolation, or some other suffering, it is easy to believe some version of the following thoughts: "This is only happening to me"; "I am all alone"; "No one understands what this pain is life"; "There is no solution here." What these all have in common is the feeling that what we are experiencing is somehow unusual or even unprecedented. Sometimes, this can even be a comfort of sorts: when we feel alone we often feel worthless, but if our suffering is unique then by the Law of Scarcity we must be somehow valuable. Even if the source of our perceived value is painful, the fact that we have value is itself a comfort.

Here is the truth: you are not unique. Hear me here: what you are experiencing is real and valid. Your pain is real and valid. Your circumstances, however, are not. Whatever you are going through has been endured by countless millions before and it will be experienced again by countless millions after you - and this is a very, very good thing!

The fact that your circumstances are not unique means that you are not alone. It means that all those countless millions before you have made it through. It means that there is a solution. It means that there is hope. Hope is a dangerous thing: if held onto and realized, it can propel you onto the heights; if denied, it can be nigh impossible to see any light or color in the world around you.

Allow me to put a question to you: would you rather have a chance at happiness, success, satisfaction, peace, or contentment - even if that chance is not guaranteed - than a surefire disappointment? Some will genuinely choose the latter. It is better to aim low than high, because the (possible) fall will hurt less. I, however, would choose the former.